My Sister's Killer...errr Keeper

                                 ********SPOILER ALERT*********

I haven't had a good cry for a few months and I figured my eyes were due for a good watering so I went to see My Sister's Keeper. The only good thing I can say is that my eyes did get watered, but my wrists almost got slit as well.

With the exception of Abigail Breslin and Joan Cusack, it was the most depressing movie I've ever seen. The problem was it had no moral to the story. The end monologue says 'I wish I could say why my sister lived or why she died, but I can't. I wish I could say something good came out of it, but I can't. We all just have to move on.' WHAT? It's a good thing the movie theater only has plastic knives or they would have had to clean up more than just spilled coke. 

The comment about not knowing if there's a life after death was made several times, which just made it shallow and depressing. Why do I want to watch a movie about a girl who spends her life with one foot in the grave to have her die and her family say...I don't know what that was about, but it sucks to be her.

At least with Will Smith's Seven Pounds there was a greater good happening. In this movie the sister just dies and life goes on but not really any better. The family actually seem to grow apart. I'm not sure what the message or moral was or even if they cared to have one at all. I've heard the book is amazing, but the movie was a pointless tear jerk-er.

If any one has read the book, please tell me what was with the brother roaming seedy hollywood streets in the middle of the night? Was he prostituting himself? Is that where they came up with the $700? At the end I thought Alec Baldwin was going to give the money back, but he didn't. He just came to say he won. Which actually was right in line with the rest of the movie with the controlling oblivious mother, the dying sister apologizing and the children scheming against their parents to the point of getting a lawyer, who I think you were supposed to be rooting for.

I hope whoever wrote that screenplay is on some serious controlled substances because if you really believe there is no purpose in life and death and there is no life after death then I don't know how you get out of be in the morning. I said a prayer for these people because they need all the prayers they can get.

Too Much Culture Can Be A Bad Thing

I have had THE best 2 weeks! Billy and I hadn't spent more than 3 consecutive days together since December until 2 weeks ago. Crazy right? Well we finally made time for ourselves and have spent everyday of the past 2 weeks together. It's been wonderful. My birthday was on the 3rd and my fabulous husband went above and beyond this year. I'll post about that later though because I want to post about my week in Paris first. That's right. The following week Billy and I jetted off to Paris. It was my first time in Europe and I was really looking forward to it. 

I have to say though it didn't live up to my expectations. We had fun and we're glad we went, but we won't be going back. It was smelly (people and places), the french aren't the friendliest, all the art is of naked men and women and it's crazy expensive. The currency exchange is our 59 cents to their 1 euro...almost half! Stuff over there is already on the pricey side and then you have to almost double it. Every time we ate or went on a tour we usually felt like it wasn't worth the money, which put a damper on things.  

We did do and see some fun stuff though. Here is Billy doing his best angry warrior pose inside the Arc de Triomphe.

Here he is outside looking good in his Paris sweater that we bought because the airline lost our luggage for a day.

We wanted to get our picture taken together so we looked around and saw this chubby couple and figured they were Americans, which they were, but they took the worst picture ever. Stupid Fat Americans.

We went to the Louvre and made sure we didn't ask any fat Americans to take our picture.

I thought the Louvre was cool. It's wicked huge, at a mile and a half long and 3 stories tall. Billy and I decided that we're not educated enough to appreciate the art. For example, explain this one to me. I just don't getit ;)

We stopped by the Orsay museum and found more of the same. This is called the Roman Orgy. Everybody was getting their picture taken in front of it...so I figured when in Rome.

At this point I was getting a little tired of seeing teetees, tatas and little marble uncircumcised peter's. I mean really. Can they not paint clothes?? I thought Paris was the fashion capital of the world but I wasn't seeing any clothes at all! And what's with all the lusty nakedness with little naked stone kids watching? Have they no shame?

We went to the Palace of Versailles and I finally asked the tour guide about the naked kids and he said most of them were actually angles, as if that made it better, and then followed it up with "And nude is better." I thought about saying there's a reason people call IT 'bumping uglies', but figured I'd have to explain it and I didn't want to embarrass Billy like that.

We got lost trying to find the Eiffel Tower. It can happen, I assure you. We finally found it after walking in circles for a while.

But when we got close the line just to get a ticket was RIDICULOUS! So Billy made an executive decision.

I will give the French props on their pastries. We went into this restaurant and ordered a coke, because even their water tastes dirty, and the waiter asked if we wanted medium or large... 

We should have gone with medium. We also got a nutella crepe with whip creme and raspberries. Rocked my world. Literally, it was so much sugar I went from skipping on the high to stumbling as I went into the sugar coma. We had some good pizza and sandwiches and sorbet and maybe more crepe's. We didn't have good luck with some pasta with what I think were clams in it or salmon that was boiled :(

The whole time we were there Billy and I kept talking about how angry the French seemed. We didn't get spit on or anything, but they are like stone faced. You make eye contact on the street or metro and they don't even acknowledge you. I don't know how they physically do it. It's seriously impressive. We asked another tour guide about it and he said that you aren't supposed to talk to people on the street unless you're hitting on them. And then they are only supposed to respond if they're interested. It's a good thing Billy and I are so undesirable because we were totally putting ourselves out there all week smiling and saying hi. It's a miracle we didn't end up in an embarrassing situation with all the propositions we made. After we learned that we figured we better practice our 'french faces'.  

Billy's is better because he is able to look uninterested and angry at the same time. Very authentic.

Our favorite part of the whole trip was going behind this cathedral where all these artists were and finding this painting that we bought. We love it...because everyone has clothes one.

I take it back. The best part of the whole trip was on the metro. The metro is smelly and crazy and the doors slam shut and don't come open if you get caught in them. It was our last day and we were on our way back to the airport when at a station this french kid comes running towards the train, but the buzzer starts and when that happens you better get out of the way. Well the idiot stops right in the door way and they close...hard. So he's trying to keep them open, not very successfully and then we see his girlfriend running up too. So he tries to move aside so she can squeeze through but he moves too much and the doors SLAM right on her face and chest and she's standing there half in half out squirming with what has to be the best pain face I've ever seen. No one and I mean NO ONE on the train moves to help. Billy and I are both expecting the train to start moving with her flailing about but the boyfriend is finally able to pull the doors open and get her the rest of the way on. Billy and I are trying to not to laugh out loud, but everyone else is stone cold except for this little Indian dude. He was straight faced but when I looked up he cracked a little smile before he looked down and resumed his scowl. It was hil-freaking-larious!!!

That was pretty much our trip. We saw a few other things, but I don't want to offend any more people than I may have already. It was fun to see everything and experience some culture, but we're happy to be back home.

Learning the Easy Way...Who Knew it was Possible

I've had the best couple of weeks. I feel like I'm learning something new everyday, but unlike most things I learn, it's not the hard way.

Since I've been introduced to CranioSacral Therapy I've been to a Chiropractor that uses the activator method. They don't do the typical bone cracking contortion stuff. They use an instrument that I compare to a staple gun, but no staples come out. 

It's painless and more importantly I wasn't worried about getting hurt, which has always stopped me from going to a chiropractor before. He even accurately told me that I eat lots of sugar, not any more of course, had sore throats as a kid and have gas. That last one not because I dropped any bombs in front of him, but because I had a certain disc out of place. It was crazy and a little mortifying. I went 3 times in 2 weeks and am in complete alignment. It doesn't hurt when I run and I feel like my posture is better. Plus I'm motivated not to eat trans fats so he stops mentioning my gas. There's apparently no lying to your Chiropractor.

I've also been learning about Essential Oils. Not the aroma therapy  kind, but the therapeutic-grade oils you put on your body or take internally. Since the cleanse I've felt so good that I've been trying to maintain that feeling with healthy food and oils that help my body function as it should. I've been amazed at the range of oils and benefits. They have some great natural products too. I heard somewhere that we're not just what we eat, we're what we absorb. I've been trying to get products that are better for me, but I feel like everything has the word organic or natural on it, but when I read the ingredients I can't tell what half the stuff is. I've ordered some essential oil products that actually seem natural and I can pronounce 90% of the ingredients. The first thing I'm getting is lavender shampoo and thieves toothpaste so we'll see if I notice a difference. I'll keep you posted.

Last week I met with a guy who knows tons about essential oils and in our conversation it came up that he does Aston-Patterning. I'd never heard of it before but when he explained that it deals with correcting postural and movement limitations through massage, re-education and fitness it caught my attention. I see so many people limited in movements due to 

injury or inactivity that his explanation really resonated with me. I haven't been to see him yet, but I plan to. My poor husband has been

amazingly understanding with all my new endeavors, but I

don't want to push my luck.

I had another lymphatic massage the other day and as I was talking to the therapist she said that MD Anderson recommends women with concerns about breast cancer should be proactive and get a lymphatic massage monthly to clear your system of harmful toxins. I thought that was pretty powerful. 

My husband and I have been participating in a weight loss competition with 10 other people and it's over tomorrow. It's been 13 weeks and I'm afraid most people have fallen by they wayside of intimidation. I have been kicking some serious ass and have lost 20 lbs!! I can see how people might give up in the face of that kind of spanking. I'm pretty sure my husband and I are competing for 1st and 2nd place. Wish me luck. If I beat my husband he's never going to hear the end of it.

What else. I've been back to my CST a few times and I can't thank her enough for the positive changes in my life. I can't put into words how different I feel. Not that I don't have bad days, but I deal with those bad days in a remarkably better way. And my good days...rock my world.

I've been learning all sorts of stuff and it's reconfirmed to me that even in this crazy world there are things that still make sense and can help us be the people we're supposed to be mind, body and soul.

Spring Cleaning

After my second biopsy and having had 2 craniosacral therapy (CST) sessions I was ready to do more than wait on my OB to give me another prescription that didn't work. I had made some big steps emotionally and I was open to trying new avenues to get my body healthy. My CS therapist recommended a detox, lymphatic drainage massage and essential oils.

She gave me a booklet on a detox that she had done and all the benefits you can get. In the booklet it recommended regular massages and epsom salt baths as well.

So far the past 10 days I have done the master cleanse (aka lemonade diet). You can't eat ANY food. You have to drink your body weight in ounces of water and drink 1/2 a gallon of the funky lemonade. It consists of water, fresh squeezed lemon juice, all natural syrup and cayenne pepper.

I've gotten 2 regular massages, 2 lymphatic massages, another CST session and taken 2 epsom salt baths. I've also just started my essential oil regimen. I've got a whole team of people making sure I do this right and have the best chance at success.

It's been amazing. Not eating is a hell of a lot easier than I thought it would be. I haven't had ANY hunger pains. NONE. All that liquid keeps you more than full. The mental cravings are the hardest part. In the booklet it tells you how important getting mentally prepared is and it's the biggest part. It suggested you make signs and a list of why you are doing it and what it would mean if you failed. I did it all. I had a sign on the pantry, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, and on the fridge, STOP. YOU CAN DO THIS. I even tied the pantry shut after I got rid of all the bad food. My mental mantra has been NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS SKINNY FEELS. I made my list and put it on the bathroom mirror and read it every morning and evening.

And I've done it. Today is day 10. I didn't cheat or make excuses or quit. I did it.

I've lost 10 pounds, my lymphatic system is clean, my body has cleared out all sorts of stuff and I feel like a new person.

A few of the benefits from the cleanse is that it can stop overeating and sugar craving, cut the emotional connection with food and increase energy. I'm not eating yet so I'm not 100% sure this has all happened, but what has happened so far is I feel in control.

I've sat at dinner tables with people eating and not ate. I had to go through a drive thru for a friend and didn't falter. I've been tempted and said no and I know I can keep doing it. I feel light and free and I'm excited to eat fresh food. I've been craving a salad. I have NEVER craved a salad. I want to cook and try new produce that I usually don't bother with because I don't have a recipe for. I am going to rock it! I can't wait to eat. I talked to a friend of mine who is the healthiest person I've ever met and got some ideas and recipes. I am PUMPED!

On top of all that I've started my morning regimen, that I've been talking about for years, of rolling out of bed and onto the floor for 10 push ups, 10 sit ups and 10 squats. Then I read or listen to the scriptures, which I downloaded to my iPod, and finally take time to make breakfast. I went to the temple and have crossed off lots of things on my to do list. I can't say enough. It's crazy.

I can't believe I did it...but I did.

Anyone Still Out There?

I love being funny. I love making people laugh. I love to blog about happy, funny, sarcastic things and I haven't really been in that mood for a while. Good, funny, sarcastic things have happened.

Like when Billy and I went to Utah over Thanksgiving with our good friends, Cat and Zach, and went skiing. Or on Christmas when my FIL got all the girls the gaudiest gold earrings you've ever seen and my SIL managed to make a copy of the receipt so we could take them back. Or when my Mom got me frilly pink new born sandals, a huge night shirt that said 'sexy lingerie' and shot glasses, which she claims are for juicing. I feel like there are some mixed messages here.The rock'n new years eve party, or the fun surprise party for Cat or going to DC and seeing the Smithsonian.

I think I just got overwhelmed. Billy got a job transfer to Dallas so we're trying to sell our house. I hate to leave College Station and all the great friends I've made, but I'm shallow enough to admit that I go where the money goes. It's been stressful making sure the house is always clean and I don't know if it's just me, but I get a little offended when people come see the house and then don't like it. Stupid, but true.

I haven't been able to get pregnant so I went to my OB in December and after 2 wicked painful biopsies found out I have an infection in my uterus. I've tried a few medications, but so far nothings worked. I go in again this week for a different treatment.

I've been gaining weight like I'm pregnant though, which is super awesome since I'm a personal trainer.

I finally went and saw a therapist. Not a typical therapist. A craniosacral therapist, but I didn't actually go because of all this. I was having some knee and shoulder pain and I was referred to a women in my ward that is a physical therapist and a craniosacral therapist as well. I can be pretty opened minded when I want to be so I thought I'd give it a try. It was like nothing I've experienced before. It was crazy and traumatic and the coolest thing ever. The basics are that emotional trauma cause physical problems and by releasing the restrictions in the craniosacral system you let go of, or deal with, the emotional trauma that caused it. Freaky. I know!

She not just threw me in the deep end but pushed me under and held me there. I talked about things with her that I didn't think I'd tell anyone. If I had gone to a normal therapist it would have taken months, maybe years, to get me to offer that stuff up. But I wanted to...well maybe not wanted. OK I told her there was no way I was saying it out loud...at first. But I felt compelled to and I knew in my bones that if I talked about it I would feel better. As I was on the table crying like a little girl who just watched there dog get run over I was able to finally deal with stuff from my childhood that I thought I had dealt with, but obviously hadn't. I put things together that I don't think I ever would have. She asked me questions and it all kind of fell into place...finally after all this time. The physical pain went away in just 1 session.

I've been back 2 more times and I feel on top of the world. I woke up the other day smiling...just because I got up and I HATE getting up. I'm that person that comes up swinging. A few of my friends have been laughing at me cause I can't stop smiling. It's ridiculous.

The other day another CS therapist was telling me that it's so effective because once they feel the rhythm of the system and start asking questions if you lie, even to yourself, the rhythm doesn't change. But if your answer hits a nerve, or you talk about what's really bothering you, the rhythm changes or freaks out so the therapist knows that they're on the right track and they get down to the meat of things really quickly. So it's like therapy with a lie detector that can tell even when you're lying to yourself. It's seriously the coolest thing ever!!

I don't have everything figured out, but I feel confident and genuinely happy anyway. I've taken some big steps and have a plan in place to get past my health problems, which I might blog about in more detail. After months of feeling angry and helpless I feel amazing even though my house hasn't sold, I'm not pregnant and I'm still chunky. It's crazy what a little therapy can do.

I've debated on whether or not to blog about this, but it really has changed my life. I couldn't not share it. If there's a therapist near you GO! I promise you won't regret it.